bullying

What is Bullying?

Bullying is when someone hurts or scares another person repeatedly. When people intentionally and repeatedly use words or actions against someone or a group of people to cause distress and risk to their wellbeing, it is called bullying. The bullying behavior is never appropriate and is intentional.  Bullying is usually done by people who have more influence or power over someone else, or who want to make someone else feel less powerful or helpless. The innocent one being bullied feels alone, depressed and scared and feels they have nowhere to turn.

In order to be considered bullying, the behavior must be aggressive and include:

• An imbalance of power. Those who bully use their power – such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information or popularity – to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations, even if they involve the same people.
• Repetition. Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once.

Bullying is not the same as the conflict between people (like having a fight) or disliking someone, even though people might bully each other because of conflict or dislike.

What does bullying include?

It includes:

• Calling someone hurtful and derogatory names
• Spreading lies and bad rumors about someone
• Being mean and teasing someone
• Hitting, punching, shoving, spitting and physically hurting someone
• Social exclusion or isolation…..not including someone in a group
• Getting other people to gang up on others
• Having money or other things taken or damaged
• Being threatened or being forced to do things

Where and when bullying happens?

Bullying can occur during or after school hours. While most reported bullying happens in the school building, a significant percentage also happens in places like on the playground or the bus. It can also happen traveling to or from school, in the neighborhood, or on the internet.

What are the different forms of bullying?

1. Verbal bullying is saying or writing ‘mean’ things. Verbal bullying includes:

• persistent teasing
• name-calling
• spreading rumors
• inappropriate sexual comments
• taunting
• threatening to cause harm

2. Social bullying, sometimes referred to as relational bullying, involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships. Social bullying includes:

• Leaving someone out on purpose
• Telling other children not to be friends with someone
• Spreading rumors about someone
• Embarrassing someone in public

3. Physical bullying is the most obvious form of intimidation and involves hurting a person’s body or possessions. Physical bullying includes:

• Hitting/kicking/pinching
• Spitting
• Tripping/pushing
• Hair pulling
• Making threats
• Taking or breaking someone’s things
• Making mean or rude hand gestures

4. Emotional bullying is by far the most complicated form of bullying to understand. It is defined as a relationship problem in which an individual uses power and aggression to control and distress another.  It triggers the negative aspects of victim’s emotions such as hate, anger, fear, panic, shame, anxiety, insecurity, frustration, inadequacy, and worthlessness among others.

5. Racial (or racist) bullying is a type of racism where someone’s bullying focuses on your race, ethnicity, or culture. Racist bullying can include:

• being called racist names or being sent insulting messages or threats
• having your belongings damaged or having to see racist graffiti
• personal attacks, including violence or assault
• being left out, treated differently or excluded
• people making assumptions about you because of your color, race or culture
• being made to feel like you have to change how you look
• racist jokes, including jokes about your color, nationality race or culture

6. Sexual bullying is a behavior, physical or non-physical, where sexuality or gender is used as a weapon against another. Sexual bullying is any behavior which degrades someone, singles someone out by the use of sexual language, gestures, or violence, and victimizing someone for their appearance.

7. Cyber-bullying is one or a group of kids or teens using electronic means via computers and mobile phones (emails, websites, chat rooms, instant messaging, and texting) to torment, threaten, harass, humiliate, embarrass or target another kid or teen.

Some other forms of bullying

• Exclusion bullying – This is a type of bullying where the bully isolates their victim and leaves them out of things. For example, you may be left all alone at lunchtime; this can have a terrible impact on your confidence and self-esteem.
• Extortion bullying – This is a type of bullying where the bully threatens to hurt you if you do not do what he says. For example, you may be forced to give the bully money, possessions or lunch, or maybe forced to steal school property.
• Gesture bullying – This is a type of bullying where the bully stares/looks at you in an intimidating way or where they use threatening gestures towards you.

Kids involved in bullying

1. Kids who bully. These children engage in bullying behavior towards their peers.

2. Kids who are bullied. These children are the targets of bullying behavior.

3. Kids who assist. These children may not start the bullying or lead in the bullying behavior but serve as an “assistant” to children who are bullying. These children encourage bullying behavior and occasionally join in.

4. Kids who reinforce. These children are not directly involved in the bullying behavior but they give the bullying an audience. They will often laugh or provide support for children who are engaging in bullying. This may encourage the bullying to continue.

5. Outsiders. These children remain separate from the bullying situation. They neither reinforce the bullying behavior nor defend the child being bullied. Some may watch what is going on but do not provide feedback about the situation to show they are on anyone’s side. Even so, providing an audience may encourage bullying behavior.

6. Kids who defend. These children actively comfort the child being bullied and may come to the child's defense when bullying occurs.

How to deal with bullying at school?

If you are being bullied at school,

• you should talk to someone you know well and trust; they will give you much needed support and will often have suggestions you hadn’t considered for helping with the situation. You can tell a teacher, a friend or your parents. It won’t stop unless you do.
• you might feel more comfortable taking a friend with you to talk to the bully or when seeking help. If you feel you might get too nervous to speak, write down what you’d like to say on paper or in an email
• If you feel safe and confident, you should approach the person who is bullying you and tell them that their behavior is unwanted and not acceptable
• If you are being bullied while at school, it is a good idea to seek help from a friend or to talk to a teacher or counselor to see if they can help.

Be a supportive bystander

A bystander is someone who sees or knows about bullying or other forms of violence that are happening to someone else. Bystanders can be either part of the bullying problem or an important part of the solution to stop bullying. 

Just as we have human rights we also have responsibilities to respect and protect the right of others. A supportive bystander will take action to protect the rights of others.

A supportive bystander will use words and/or actions that can help someone who is being bullied.

If bystanders are confident to take safe and effective action to support victims then there is a greater possibility that bullying can stop and the person who is bullied can recover.

Here are some suggestions:

• Make it clear to your friends that you won’t be involved in bullying behavior
• Never stand by and watch or encourage bullying behavior
• Do not harass, tease or spread gossip about others, this includes on social networking sites like Facebook
• Never forward on or respond to messages or photos that may be offensive or upsetting
• Support the person who is being bullied to ask for help e.g. go with them to a place they can get help or provide them with information about where to go for help.
• Report it to someone in authority or someone you can trust e.g. at school to a teacher, or a school counselor; if the bullying is serious report it to the police; if the bullying occur on Facebook, report it to Facebook.